"Come to terms"
Coming to terms with something means, to accept.
To deal, to face, to recognize and set the expectations with the fact that whatever one thought about something in the past, is really not that and it is time to incorporate that uncomfortable reality and learn, cope, and most difficult: live with it.
Today, I have to come to terms with the fact that you can't love me the way I thought you could, and you tried, you really did, in fact, you did so well that you made me believe you were happy with the way we spent our time together, I thought you could deal with the current reality of my way of living. Today the words come in another language because it is hard to express them in our language. For a moment, all the words we've used together seem to be contaminated with my present thoughts. Thoughts that I don't want to recall to be part of our story, not now, not in a whole, not forever. You and I were much more than just arguments about who hurts whom with their actions, about who the bad guy is in the story. You and I had hopes, love, colors, feelings for each other, tears of happiness, sunsets, sunrises, rainbows, nights, days, hours, eyes to stare, hands to touch, lips to kiss, bodies to hold. You and I deserve another chapter. We deserve to live and love in freedom, in absolut joy of the present moment that revolves us around to stand next to us, right at the same time, in the same space. We are and were a magical coincidence.
I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be, and I'm sorry that you're not who I want you to be. I hope, one day, our circumstances change, the time gets larger to spend with you, some of our dreams can come true apart, and life finds a space to make us fit together again in many or all the ways.
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